you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
