guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
