I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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