It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
