yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize