i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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