marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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