sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
