First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize