Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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