so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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