Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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