it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
