And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize