you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
