Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
