theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
