I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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