Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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