Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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