the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
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