Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
