Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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