i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
