is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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