So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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