You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize