I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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