you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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