I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
