I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
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