Well apparently he's into motor boating.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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