just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
