i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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