I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
