First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
