Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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