butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We are all done wearing pants today
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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