I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
