So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
