so explain again why im purple
no
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
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