Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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