just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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