I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We got so high we made milksteak
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
