I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
