TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
