one might say we're banned from that church
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
