wrigley field is MILF paradise
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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