Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
