She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
