is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
