I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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