i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
