i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We smell like vodka and hangover
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