You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
