just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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