i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
