I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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