yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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