Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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