Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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