Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
