I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wish you could order shots online.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
