no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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