I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
