Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
