oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
