is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
organizing the empties. That sober.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
