This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
