Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
