Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
