also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Can Purell be used as lube?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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