When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
