this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I wish i was in the wii world.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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