ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
